


Lance's *sick* up lines

by Nebulapaws



Series: Voltron One-Shots [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Galaxy Garrison, Gen, Hidge is so underrated??, I love pidge ok?, I wrote this in about a 1 or so, Lance and Pidge friendships give me LIFE, Pidge Angst, Sickfic, all relationships can sorta be seen as plantonic, but it's mentioned-, but only if you cross your eyes and squint - Freeform, it kinda sucks, sorry ;w;
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-30
Updated: 2018-03-30
Packaged: 2019-04-14 19:47:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14143248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nebulapaws/pseuds/Nebulapaws
Summary: Pidge gets sick and Lance accidentally reads her 'journal' when he sees some terrible pickup lines, Lance takes it upon himself to help his more-than-usually green friend.





	Lance's *sick* up lines

**Author's Note:**

> Whoops, sorry that this looks so bad...wrote this at school ;w;

* * *

Lance's "sick" up lines

* * *

 

The day that pidge didn’t go to breakfast wasn’t much of a surprise to lance. She’d always either be late or not come at all. They’d always bring the food to her so that she’d be able to eat. But one day, when Lance brought her the breakfast, which was just some weird alien meat and some other weird alien lettuce plus a weird sauce. 

 

It tasted good, but it just...wasn’t earth food, so it was still different to lance. 

 

That one day, Lance walked to pidge’s door and knocked on it. After all, the paladins knew what would happen if you broke into pidge’s room without her consent. It would look like she’d want to kill you for a week. She’d also play pranks on you for a full week. 

 

“Heyy pidgeyyy~, you missed breakfast! Honestly, this is getting repetitive”  Lance calls to the door.

 

A hoarse voice groans on the other side mumbling “come in then” and then something unintelligible as if she was half asleep, half awake. And was drifting more towards sleep again. Lance knew that feeling and knew what it was.

 

She was sick. 

 

Obviously with a cold: she had a space flu once for an entire month. It was a torture worse than galra’s own torture. 

 

Because all she ever did was insist that she was fine, sleep, be nothing but pure anger (worse than Keith's anger) and constantly make biting remarks. She was pretty much not watching her words  _ at all,  _ and was constantly having something to either complain about or snark about.

 

It was amazing how much the other paladins appreciated the pidge that  _ wasn’t  _ sick. 

 

When the door made a quiet hissing noise to let Lance in, he saw the green paladin snuggled up in a cocoon of blankets, eyes drooping and nose running. No wonder she sounded congested. 

 

She not only sounded half asleep: her eyes were half closed, staring tiredly and blankly ahead of herself. When Lance made a tapping noise on the edge of the door, she snapped awake, squeaking in utter surprise. 

 

Lance chuckled and sat on the edge of the bed near the wall that curved upwards. Trying his best to make sure his head didn’t get caught up in the little lights that dangled from the roof of the bed.

 

Lance  _ really  _ wanted to know how the heck she could’ve gotten all that stuff, but he didn’t ask. Part of him didn’t want to know how the techy green paladin even got all of her random junk.

 

When Lance gave pidge the breakfast, he got up and was about to leave the room. Then pidge mumbled something about Wanting Lance to stay. 

 

_ Well, that’s a new one.  _

 

Lance backtracks over towards pidge and crouches down to her level (of course technically he was sitting on his knees on the floor, but saying that out loud or even thinking it would make him dead by the end of the week) 

 

Pidge looks at Lance for a moment. She looks to be comprehending why she’d just asked Lance to stay. And for that, she looks partially annoyed.  Lance gazes around her room while she’s distracted in thinking what in the stars she even asked lance to stay for. 

 

Then his gaze rests gently over a small dusty leather book. It looks old. And the bottom right edge where it opens has a little golden rim, and the pages of the book look like each one of them has had coffee spilled on it, with the goldenish brown pages. That looked like if you turned them they’d run stiffly to the other side. 

 

Pidge was still mumbling to herself, so out of full curiosity Lance made a death wish and snagged the book right from the nightstand.  

 

Pidge had stopped mumbling to stare at him with molten golden eyes. They, surprisingly, weren’t filled with malicious intent, calculating eyes staring. Only eyes that were wide with horror as Lance held up the book in his hands.

 

_ Why isn’t she killing me yet? _

 

“Lance...put that the  _ quiznak  _ down,” she hissed. Though her tone betrayed her features. Lance noted beads of sweat rolling down her temples, though at first, he assumed that was because she was sick, eyes squinting suspiciously as Lance handled the book gently in his hands.

 

Lance didn’t really  _ want  _ to make pidge angry per se, so he just gently put the book down, though he slid it under a bowl looking thing. Crossed his arms over her bed and grinned at her.

 

“Why  _ are _ chu hidin’ the book from me, oh pidgey,” Lance remarked.  And grinned when pidge only scowled, taking another spoonful of her breakfast.

Then she stops eating it and pushes it to the side, and lance looks unimpressed. “Pidge, don’t make me baby you...please eat”

 

“‘M not hungry” Pidge mumbled. 

 

Lance noticed pidge holding her side, he also noticed it wasn’t a very vice grip of a hold and rather something weak and trying. Like she was trying to add pressure to a wound on her side, or a pain on her side. He also noticed her mumbling a few curses. Hissing in a slight pain. But it wasn’t  _ that  _ noticeable. 

 

But he knew her pride made it impossible for her to actually say anything about a wound, or cramp.

 

Lance walked out of the room, coming back with a painkiller (Coran had told him that, he wasn’t exactly sure) and some water. Pidge looked at him with a fairly confused look before going back to lying down and gently pressing on a pain in her hip. (he assumed that’s where the pain was coming from) 

 

Lance crouched down again, at this point noting how he was, again, practically sitting on his knees. 

 

“Hey, pidgey, would you mind taking this?” Lance questions, motioning to the painkiller.

 

Pidge studies it for a moment. Then shrugs, mumbling “sure,” before taking it. She doesn’t even drink the water. It almost  _ scares _ Lance. 

 

Tentatively, Lance holds out the water, as if he thought pidge was going to subconsciously take the water. But he hand never comes, and he assumes she is looking at him with a confused face as to why he even brought the stuff in the first place. 

 

He was about to ask her to drink the water when her eyes closed. He thought of it as some sort of a free card, and next thing he knew it he had opened that book from earlier and started to read it while pidge (supposedly) napped. 

 

_ March 2nd, 2018,  _

 

_ There’s this dude, named hunk, and I can’t help but think he looks...sweet. Too bad he’s not gay and I’m not admitting I’m a guy anytime soon...so I guess I should distract myself and at least try to look like I’m writing important things down.  _

 

_ We’re at some sort of bar, and Lance is swooning over some women (of course) and I’m trying not to freaking cry. Because damn, he really is just embarrassing me. He keeps telling me to give it a try but I’m so….so tempted to say I’m not lesbian. Not that I have nothing against that or anything.  _

 

Lance remembers that day. Pidge looked  _ miserable.  _  For someday, he was going to go and make him and hunk’s grumpy friend let loose, it really turned out to be Lance and Hunk letting loose instead of just all three.

 

_ March 3rd, 2018. _

 

_ Iverson is a literal jerk. He yelled at hunk today for one of my mistakes. I wanted so, so badly to tell him to back the hell off and to go yell at me instead. But I couldn’t bring myself to say anything. I don’t think I wanna show my face today because I feel...bad?  _

 

_ Do I even have a bond with these idiots, or do I think they’re actually trying to be nice to me. Whatever. Maybe when I find matt and dad they can try to convince Iverson to let me back into the garrison. They don’t have much but a handful of lies that I now know.  _

 

Damn, pidge felt bad about that day? Lance always felt that she had felt the opposite about that. It feels weird knowing at that time she actually  _ cared.  _ He skipped a few pages to the next month. April. Which was surprisingly enough, her birthday. She wrote on the 3rd about that too. 

 

_ April 3rd, 2018.  _

 

_ I guess my birthday today is a whole lotta I think I might have a crush on hunk and another scoop of eff, no one is celebrating my birthday ‘cept, my mom. I wonder if Matt and Dad know about my birthday. I feel like they both have this impulsive feeling about it.  _

 

 

  * __-__



 

 

_ Last night I accidentally cried, and Lance and Hunk saw me cry. Jesus, they wrapped me up in blankets and we watched corny movies. I think it might’ve been either Lance or Hunk’s idea. With them, I assume it might’ve been Lance.  _

 

_ I’m scared to think that all as I’ve ever been was a huge jerk to them, meanwhile they’ve only been nice. I can say sorry when I find my brother. _

 

Lance smirked when he saw that entry.  _ So I  _ did  _ make her happy after all!  _ But seriously, he had no idea she was turning 15 that day. Only with Her mother to celebrate her birthday. That  _ had  _ to be terrible. 

 

And It  _ probably  _ was. 

 

The entries only got more lovey-dovey with Hunk (because apparently, she couldn’t say it aloud, he wasn’t gay) and the more entries, it got closer to when they first landed on arus. And when those entries popped up, they seemed distracted, sometimes excited. Sometimes annoyed. Sometimes relieved. 

 

Some of them even recorded missions as well. Jesus, this kid really knew how to write when no one was looking. Though most of the time it was written in after the mission, sometimes it was typed out and just glued in a sloppy way.

 

Lance started calling those pages ‘mission logs’ and the pages from the garrison ‘garrison logs’ and before that, those were private. He didn’t  _ dare  _ read that.

 

_???, _

 

_ I might make a sub-project on trying to find out how the heck do I tell time here, but for now, only stars know how to tell time in terrain for me.  Anywho, Hunk and I were on a mission today. We prepared some food before the trip and ate it. The bucket of sunshine made me eat on my own. I swear, I wish he’d reciprocate my feelings for him sometimes.  Oh well.  _

 

_ While there I accidentally slipped like an idiot while hunk was telling a story about where he lived. Some stupid sludge got into the suit and now I feel really, really dizzy and sick. I think I’ll lie down for a while and try….not to move.  _

 

Lance was confused. This was yesterday, wasn’t it? It probably was, they both did go to a jungle planet yesterday and pidge came back with mud all over her chest plate complaining about how the jungle is gross no matter how much she had bonded with nature a little. While the red paladin, Lance, was laughing hysterically at her story on  _ how  _ she had gotten it on her. 

 

To him, Pidge took a mighty distraction and tripped on a  _ twig _ and fell into a bunch of mud. Which she, oh so humbly, admitted to not being able to get out. 

 

Though now Lance could see she was just distracted by her crush on Hunk. jesus, she was really good at lying. Or maybe he was just unusually gullible. Probably the ladder. 

 

He skipped pages backwards, avoiding the very first pages, and keeping more towards the ‘garrison logs’ rather than her..personal life. 

 

_ Man, I wish I could think of good pick up lines that lance, Keith or Shiro wouldn’t judge. All as I got is, “are you an atom? Because we look like a good bond” and other things like that. I feel dumb for thinking that, but you know...whatever…. _

 

_ I probably won't come up with anything good anyways….so….quiznak, I wish you were here, matt.  _

_ OH! Just thought of another, “are you copper and  _ _ Tellurium? Because you’re cu te!” I like that one...sorta. _

 

Lance, despite the obvious, noted everything about this page. 1. She was talking about hunk. 2. She was really,  _ really  _ bad at pick up lines. 3. Her pickup lines made absolutely no sense to lance. And 4. There’s no date. Well, it was in space and she probably gave up on dates. 

 

Then, lance jolted the book back on the nightstand, because pidge was making a glow groan noise, probably waking up again. And he prodded her annoyingly at one of her sides. 

 

“Hey, hey pidge. Pidgey~ hey pidgey~” 

 

“What…” Pidge grumbled. She sounded like a lion. There was probably another comparison but this one just felt ironic. 

 

“You’re terrible at pick up lines did you know that?” Lance blurted. He was about to cover his mouth. But pidge looked thoughtful instead of glaring daggers at him.

 

“I- how did you- wait, what?” She sounded genuinely confused. Which made lance even more confused she was. pidge, the literal genius, was confused.

 

“I mean like ‘ are you copper and  Tellurium? Because you’re cu te!’ that is weak pidge. And I also have no idea what that means and how copper and tellurium are even related to being cute--”

 

Pidge not only looks interested but she looks thoroughly annoyed. “First off, stop reading my stuff. Second off, Copper is CU and Tellurium is TE. you know what that spells? Cute.” Pidge had deadpanned the end, but otherwise, she sounded like Lance was a cat trying to be obnoxious. 

 

“Sorry pidgey~ I’m not a genius at science you know-”

 

“I’m aware” Pidge deadpans. 

 

There’s a wide grin on lance’s face and his eyes look like they’re smiling as well, so it only adds to the whole ‘Pidge I’m about to say something dumb’ look to it.

 

“I can  _ teach  _ you pickup lines, Pidgey-kins~” Lance dramatically whistled

 

“Lance- wait..you would?” Pidge’s look of aggression was depleted to that of confusion and a slight tinge of annoyance. 

 

There was a bright smile lance about her relenting her deadly rage. And lance helped Pidge sit up so Lance could sit at her bedside. 

 

She was wrapped up in long blankets that where a tinged green colour (probably from room lights, that she had customised herself) and had a box of tissues over to the side on the nightstand (once again, a custom made item for herself) the box looked a bit...mangled, and lance decided that he needed to replace that and also let pidge stay over there. 

 

The lights that were dangling just above Pidge’s head, the bulbs were brushing gently over Lance’s head, that created a dim glow that just barely contrasted the light of the entire room. She also had those little caterpillar things follow her back, and are climbing over a trash figure of himself. Which, for a techy like herself, looked highly more something Lance could build.

 

In pidge’s words “Low tech” 

 

There was a low whimper in pidge’s direction. Lance turned his head over to her, smiling something of Worry towards her. Only to get her to scoff pitifully. He could  _ feel  _ her pride saying ‘shove off! Let me be stubborn!’

 

Lance sniggered at that thought. When pidge glared daggers at him however, his snigger quickly turned into a whimper as he dramatically flinched back from her. They both laughed that time, only pidge broke into a light coughing fit afterwards. 

 

“Ok, pidge,” he starts “In order to be as great of a romantic as I, the amazing Lance mcclain is, then you have to put  _ feeling  _ and  _ confidence _ into your pick up line!” 

 

Pidge smiles and rolls her eyes, saying jokingly “i don’t wanna be a hopeless romantic lance-” she stops for a moment because of her giggling (it probably hurt her lungs, because the way she laughed made it seem that way) “I want to be good enough to make hunk think I  _ care”  _

 

Lance laughs too. It’s best not to tell pidge that deep down, that stung a little. “Whatever, be grateful ya gremlin” 

 

Pidge laughed “Yeah ok, mr. I should get a room with keith” she wiggled her eyebrows though the laughing only caught her in another coughing fit. 

 

“Thou, deserves thy treatment” lance jokes 

 

Pidge laughs (a little more lighter now) while lance joins in that time as well.

 

“Alright, pigeon! Time to teach you the ways of lancey lance!” Lance waited for an interruption but didn’t get one so he continued “Alright, Pidgey, Who are you tryin' to use the pickup lines on?” 

 

Pidge hesitates for a moment, she coughs before saying “Hunk,” 

 

Lance lets a grin spread across his face at the mention of Hunk. apparently, pidge thought he was going to tell Hunk because her face of tiredness morphed into that of embarrassment, with a tinge don’t tell him about it.

 

Lance put a finger to his mouth in a hush motion and pidge felt a  _ tiny  _ bit better. Oh, she knows him so well!

 

“Well,  _ anyways  _ do you want to learn some pick up lines?” 

 

“.....yeah….”

 

Lance clapped his hands, dramatically playing the ‘i’m very excited’ motion. “I’ve got one, my young paladin friend,” Lance grinned widely at pidge. “I bet he’s purrfect!”

 

“Oh my god-”

 

“You can tell him he’s just ‘oh so pawsome’!” Lance supplied

 

Pidge grinned “Or I can tell him that nobody’s lion when they say he’s pure” 

 

Lance laughed,  _ when did she get in on puns?  _ “You can call him pawtastic too!” 

 

Pidge chortled, a wide smile on his face. “Ok, ok lance” she finally took another bite of his food. 

 

And lance fist pumped the air “Yes! I got the pidgey to eat!” 

 

Pidge sighs in mock defeat “Yeah lance- you got me- now please get me some more painkillers. My side hurts again”

 

Lance gets up off the bed probably before she even said. It was probably some sixth sense to know when pidge was hurting or it was probably the fact that she was holding her side again, making a soft groaning noise, that was almost inaudible to him. 

 

Lance nodded in understanding and left the room. 

 

* * *

 

Pidge groaned softly from where she was. Having that conversation with Lance made her feel better sure, but she still felt like absolute garbage. She looked around, hands clasped to her side, which was radiating a small bit of pain. 

 

She probably  _ didn’t  _ need painkillers, but she wanted Lance out of her room.

 

Pidge sighed from where she was. She had finished her breakfast about a minute ago. She pushed the silky-ish sheets closer to her neck. 

 

She could’ve stayed there for 100 quintents, maybe even decopheobs. But then someone knocked on her door. She noticed that from how hard the knock was, it was probably keith.  _ Why keith?  _ Maybe shiro? That’d make a bit more sense. 

 

But she really didn’t want to be bothered today. But she also assumed it was her dinner. She had chosen to skip dinner as well. And lunch. 

 

She threw the sheets off herself slowly, grumbling when she was forced to get out of bed. She didn’t mind of course, it just got annoying sometimes. 

When she groggily open the door, she didn’t expect to see Hunk. and with Hunk came a huge wave of nervousness. She felt awkward, as her heart made a threaded beat, and she felt beads of sweat come on her face. as well as her face get hot, and rosey red.

 

Luckily for her, she was sick, so one can easily pass on as her just being really sick. Thank the stars she was so sick!

 

“H-hey hunk!” she awkwardly waved to hunk, the smile on hunk’s face was genuine and made pidge blush, again making her face a rosy red. 

 

Hunk waved back to her. And smiled “Hey, Pidge!” He was holding a plate of food. The food looked good. Even if it just looked like some tomato soup. “I gotcha some soup, to make ya feel better” 

 

Pidge let a light smile on her face curl up her lips “Thanks Hunk”  _ now’s your chance pidge  _

 

Hunk handed her the tray, with one of his best smiles. “No problem Pidge”

 

“Did you know you’re  _ purr _ fect” Pidge blurts.  _ Ok, wow you blew it.  _

 

She could tell that Hunk was blushing. It was  _ hard  _ to tell, but she could tell. “T-thank you pidge, same with you”

 

Pidge’ll take that over nothing anyday.

 

The next day, it came ironic to pidge that she felt better. in fact, she felt dapper. Which was weird. The other paladins (except hunk) wondered what made pidge so blushy while she was talking to hunk. She swore, Matt wouldn’t leave her alone that day.

 


End file.
